Tillman's Toast Me! Bacon & Egg All Day Breakfast 1
Written by The Human Dustbin and posted in Food, Frozen, Toaster Snack

There’s one thing that irritates me more and more. I don’t know if it’s because I’m becoming a middle aged grumpy old git, but over-familiar blurb on packaging really irks me. The worst example being Innocent Smoothies, with it’s ‘drink me, I’m great’ type first person nonsense. This product can be forgiven for its chummy title, but the bullshit continues on the back of the packet with the opening salvo ‘Most of us love breakfast but often we don’t have the time to prepare it or can’t be bothered! Hey…don’t Panic!’. Well first of all Tillman’s, I like breakfast, I don’t love it and not having enough time to prepare breakfast is not going to make me panic… on any level. As for your statement, I’m sure it is because people really can’t be arsed to prepare anything, that would lead them to actually consider eating what amounts to a savoury pop tart.

Tillman's Toast Me! Bacon & Egg All Day BreakfastGetting one out of the packet, there was a vague savoury smell, one that was not particularly appetising mainly because it was completely unidentifiable apart from being savoury. Unlike most of the products I purchase for review, this one has multiple ways you can ‘cook’ it. You can microwave it, you can put it in a preheated oven, or my favourite ‘Place deep frozen Tillman’s Toast Me! in a frying pan at a medium heat for approx. 3 minutes. Turn regularly or simply just thaw and enjoy cold’. Enjoy cold? That’s the way I like my bacon and egg! However, the primary ‘cooking’ method was toasting so I decided to take Tillman’s advice from the packaging again ‘place in your toaster; and it’s ready before you know it…relax and enjoy…or eat one on the run! Yum Yum!’. After being patronised as if I was a toddler, I decided to relax and try and enjoy my Toast Me!

Tillman's Toast Me! Bacon & Egg All Day Breakfast, cookedThe Toast Me! popped out of the toaster with fat bubbling on the outside. My immediate thought was, f**k I’m going to have to clean the bloody toaster now. Taking my first bite, the outside coating tastes just like the coating on a fish finger. The egg was tasteless and for this bite, didn’t contain any bacon, so you could imagine eating a fish finger. It wasn’t until my third bite that I came across something that had a very artificial bacon flavour (even though it was apparently real bacon). The texture and crunch of the Toast Me! is OK, but the filling is not that pleasant at all. After eating one, my thought was, I’d rather have a simple slice of buttered toast, that’s how bland it is. Looking at the packaging again, Tillman’s offer a Breakfast Tip, ‘Delicious dipped in your favourite ketchup! Fancy another one?’. No thank you.

Appearance: 4/10
Taste: 3/10
Value: 3/10
Overall: 10/30

Retailer:
Wm Morrison Supermarkets plc
Manufacturer:
Tillman’s UK
Cost:
£1.00 (normally £1.39)
CPP:

  • The Human Dustbin

    My local Morrisons has Toast Me! burgers in stock. Oh yes. A toasted burger. I wonder if you can enjoy that cold?

  • tahrey

    What you haven’t mentioned here is that they launched with quite a flavour range for these things, including one that was just a plain omelette… so basically it’s just a bit of beaten egg cooked up and smothered in breadcrumbs? Yummy…

  • I’ve been trying to find the toasted burgers for ages, just to find out what on earth such a creation would taste like.

    Y’know, try anything once. I’m sure it will only be once.

  • GelatinousSlab

    They have these in Germany too, they’re called slightly different: “Toasty”. Apart from the Branding, its all the same. The bit about the toaster cleaning is true, my toaster stank like some sorta deep fryer for some days. Ugh.

  • Ben

    Bought a pot of Innocent Mexican Veg Pot (heavily discounted of course) and had to throw it away. It looked like the vomit of a ranchero who’s spent the night drinking tequila and eating from a waste disposal unit — and the taste? Nothing, not even a chilli tang in the disgusting flavour-free sauce. Just another reason to loathe this pretentious company with its condescending attitude and crap products.

  • With you all the way on the matey discourses on food packaging. The cooking instructions on Old El Paso enchiladas, and the like, are a particular irritant, they say things like “Gas mark 4 ought to do it”. In your head, when reading this, you hear the voice of one of those identikit mockney squirts that infest the airwaves these days. We got this box of poncey teabags recently and it has six steps (all illustrated), step 4 for example being “leave for one minute, or as long as you like”. Ooh you’re so non-directive and fluffy. Underneath it says “Part of the fun of making tea is experimenting with different brewing techniques…” Utter bastards.

    • Stacey

      laughing at loud at your end comment…utter bastards! ha quality

  • Jake Darkness

    Ill do anything thing for a Tillmans toast me.anything! email JDrimmerman.co.uk

  • ButtCrunch

    We have something like this in the US, but they have a cheese sauce in them. And I hate to admit that I like it.

    http://www.walmart.com/ip/Pillsbury-Toaster-Scrambles-Cheese-Sauce-Egg-Bacon-Pastries-10-oz/10813682#Product+Reviews

  • Geoffrey Brown

    I found the article and many of the comments nothing short of hilarious. I was taken immediately back to my schooldays in WW2 when this kind of food would have been placed on the gourmet list. Then, breakfast might be a slab of grey “National” bread fried in bacon grease; lunch, a margarine and sugar, or even better – beef dripping sandwich; and dinner (supper) a rissole (even more mysterious than the faggot, but with a much classier name), boiled cabbage and spuds.
    School lunches brought us unidentified slices of fluorescent meat (old Dobbin, late of the Express Dairy?) with cabbage and spuds, of course, and rice pudding so viscous and adhesive that the plate could safely be inverted over your neighbor’s head — well not always safely!

  • Geoffrey Brown

    I forgot to mention chitterlings!!!

  • tracy whitehouse

    i love tillmans toast me specially the bacon and egg on do u know which supermarket sells them pls cause tescos say they have been discontinued whys that i am really gutted pls let me know

  • tracy whitehouse

    i love tillmans toast me specially the bacon and egg ones they r handy if u r goin out early can u tell me where i can buy them from pls cause tescos says they have discontinued them im gutted pls let me know

  • mark

    I love the cheese and ham toast me. Very tasty hot food and it takes zero effort. Don’t know what you were expecting for £1