Tulip Bacon Grill review
Written by The Human Dustbin and posted in Cooked Meats & Pâté, Food

Sometimes it is hard to see how some food products I review, have any market for them whatsoever. Tulip’s Bacon Grill is one of them. What is is meant to be? a substitute for real bacon in a breakfast if the graphics on the pot are anything to go by? I love bacon as much as this kid, so it would have to be extremely good to replace the rashers I normally buy. I’ve just thought of a use for it, storing in a survivalists shelter instead of real bacon, since I bought this from an unrefrigerated shelf with a eye watering long use by date.

Tulip Bacon Grill SludgeAfter pinging of the top lid and ripping off the top foil, I was immediately hit by them smell of a nasty luncheon meat variant, which this obviously is. Just take a look at that lovely fatty sweaty sheen the ‘meat’ has in that grey plastic tub, doesn’t that just get you salivating already? Looking at the tub, it gives you heating instructions that consist of slicing the meat and grilling or frying it for 3 minutes each side. I didn’t fancy doing that and since the lid says it is ready to eat, i thought i’d eat it like a man would when facing the break down of society as we know it. I dug the lump of congealed mechanically recovered meat out of the tub with a big knife and sliced off a bit to ingest some emergency calories.

Tulip Bacon Grill LumpSo what does it taste like? A very strong luncheon meat with a bonus of an extra synthetic flavour which is vaguely smokey. There is no texture as you would expect from meat mush held together by fat. In my view it is even more vile than standard luncheon meat and makes Billy Bear seem quite palatable. After two bites, I could not eat any more. I placed the remains back in the resealable pot, not keep it but it’s bin night and it might stop the badgers in our area smelling this when it goes in a black bag and in the bin. As for our cat, he’s usually at my feet as soon as he smells anything meat based. He was nowhere to be seen. That speaks volumes.

Appearance: 3/10
Taste: 2/10
Value: 1/10
Overall: 6/30

Retailer:
Wm Morrison Supermarkets plc
Manufacturer:
Tulip Ltd
Cost:
£1.00 (Normally £1.69, the same price as a 300g pack of value bacon rashers)
CPP:
  • tahrey

    just what WAS the use-by date, out of interest?

    (it might be useful as summer camping provisions if nothing else… though why you’d go for this rather than canned ham is a difficult question. maybe to save on the weight/bulk of a tin opener?)

  • Aren’t you supposed to cook it? (To make sure it’s dead!)

    • The Human Dustbin

      The lid gives the game away.

  • louise

    now im a big fan of bacon grill,but the one you want to steer clear of is ye old oak it comes in a round tin,it is absoulutely vile even after lashings of morrisons/asda value red sauce on it,(which i love lol).the best one has to be the one they do in herons,plumrose i think its called,now that is the dogs danglys he he.

  • Alex

    This is great as fishing bait.
    They love it, especially fried in a bit of curry powder.

  • Chrissy J

    Bacon Grill used to be a staple of army rations, and yeah, it’s much better when fried in its own grease. It’s still an evil creation though.

  • Jindod

    Celebrity bacon grill is the one. It needs to be cooked though. Good for camping etc. fried or grilled with eggs and brown sauce. Yum.

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  • jeg elske vakker norge

    I may have to try this since the danish have banned Marmite, I am boycotting danish bacon so the brits can have marmite on toast!. who’s with me?. What do we want, Marmite, Where do we want it, On my girlfriend thighs…

    • jeg elske vakker norge

      Oh wait, Tulip is a Danish brand.
      Poop…

  • Oh come on now! I have a bunch of Spam recipes on my blog that I think even YOU could eat. If you aren’t too yellow…
    Great website. Love your humour!

  • I have to agree that is the most vile thing I have ever seen they must have a deal with a donkey santuary somewhere

  • cerbs

    You really do need to cook bacon grill. Its much better.

  • Steve Bentley

    Definitely one of those acquired tastes.
    I love this stuff, as does my old man and one of my brothers… My three other brothers and my mum can’t stand it.. But each to their own.
    It is something to you do need to fry up, to really appreciate. Cut it into slices, not to thick… But better than being too thin! Get them nicely browned and crispy on the outside, and obviously well cooked inside…
    Wonderful stuff!