Tulip Bacon Grill. Can luncheon meat really replace a proper bacon rasher? Of course not, it's mechanically recovered sh*te!
A faggot is traditionally made from pig's heart, liver and fatty belly meat or bacon minced together. Mr Brain's are a bit tamer.
It's because people can't be arsed to prepare anything, that would lead them to actually consider eating what amounts to a savoury pop tart.
It's that special time of the year that heralds the return of Iceland's Christmas food and truly bizarre Hoisin Duck Christmas Trees.